Wonder Round (Dec. 2- 8, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

When weeks are full and swift, I am especially grateful to sink into the land and sky that surrounds where we live, even if for minutes in a given day. Wishing you moments of serenity and replenishment in this busy time of year…

“As I sit by a window whose draft circles my legs under the desk and my hands as I paint, my thoughts turn to the things which bring me warmth... especially the emotional connections with loved ones that continue to sustain, inspire, and move me.   I am grateful.”

“I always think dots are going to be relaxing and mindless— until I paint the first one and remember that is when made with crayons.  Nevertheless, I sank into the rhythm of making one after the other, soothed by knowing the colors of the rainbow that began to fill the page.  I thought much about the diversity each of us beings to life and how we are all connected to one another, whether or not our edges ever touch...”


”It feels as if the night went by in a blink... it can be disorienting for time to pass so quickly when the days are full.  I am looking forward to working in my own space this morning before heading out for the day.  It is such a gift to be able to pause in the midst of daily demands and activities and ground to where we are, inside and out.  Wishing you all space to breathe and be...”

“I woke up with thoughts about my friend’s daughter, who underwent serious surgery yesterday, and will be waking up his morning with a new healing path ahead of her.  I lay thinking about the power of our bodies and minds, and how we can hold space and beseech healing for those we love and for ourselves.  It is helpful for me to remember that we strengthen healing potential when we share it with others, and help build up courage for those fighting in the midst of it.   Please send whatever energy and prayers that are meaningful for you to this young woman and her family as they move forward with hope...”

“A day at a time, we move through... sending you all energy, stamina, and courage to move through the peaks and valleys of your lives... today, and in the days to come.”

“As my mind grapples with ever-moving pieces of a puzzle, I am heartened to know that making lists of the concrete tasks at hand will bring balance to the other parts in motion,  allowing organization and accomplishment of bite-sized bits to propel forward movement and relief.  What things bring about this containment and calm for you?”


”Today no words come to mind, so I will let the feelings rest in the paint...  Wishing you all the spaciousness of the weekend ahead.”

Wonder Round (Nov. 25- Dec. 1, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

How it can have changed over from November to December already, I do not know… there has been much that has brought each week into the next, and into following month. Wishing you all sanity and moments of peace as we enter this last 31 days of the year.

“Although thoughts of my mother were rolling around in my mind in the silence , I was not aiming to paint about her directly... I had to laugh by the end, as I counted 8 orbs below the main, the number of children she raised.  I register more and more deeply, the intention and effort she put into the daily care of such a large crew, and struggle enough with just our two.  It is interesting how we parent differently than our own upbringing, and that we can weave the best of what we were fortunate to receive into the fabric for our children.  I am aware that this extends to the nurturing and connections that exist with our friends, as well, widening the circle of influence, once again.  Especially in this holiday season, a difficult time for many, let us be tender with the hearts of all those we pass.”

“After a night which let me know of residual remnants rolling in my mind after days of deep processing, I awakened yearning for space to just be... our minds need to breathe as much as our lungs, I think.  Time is so important to let ourselves experience, even if tiny intentional increments are all we can find.  I am grateful for the growth that can come from deep exploration, and for the gift of choice when we realize we have it.”

“Reaching for my flat brushes this morning, needing somewhere different to begin, broad swatches of color began to fill the space.  As each block became alive with hue, they grew into holding spaces for the things we all dream, hope, hurt, discern over, and are brought to the surface or gently placed back into safe containment until we are ready to bring them forth into action.  The gift of being listened to by others, wholly and without judgment, is a precious thing.  May we all bring light to one another by the simple and powerful gift of presence.”

“What are you incubating in your life?  It is a question I find of greater importance and urgency the older I get, realizing it is a question every bit as important (and maybe even more so) than in my younger years, when I was not yet as aware of what I wanted in life, or maybe justnot as able to fully receive it.   I am reassured that we can bring forth things both big and small, in the very moments in which we have, and those that are yet to come...”

“As evidenced by the warped paper laying underneath the layers and layers of pigment, this painting just went on and on and on— and not because I wanted it to (although I admit to feeling resistant to painting this morning)— I tried to counter that by painting simply and without expectation.  It did not work.  So I dug into the task of correcting, overcorrecting, adding, subtracting, layering yet again, lightening, and darkening, until I have now spent 2 hours on this inconsequential thing.  Oh well.  I am calling it as finished as it is going to be, and letting it go, mirroring the real things we face daily in our lives, when the outpouring of energy may or may not bring about the desired outcome.  I am grateful to move on with my day, and wish you ease and speed in moving through that which challenges you today :).”

((Part two to this circle came a couple of hours after posting the circle:

“What I was really painting about in my circle this morning was those loved ones that have gone on before us and how present they remain in our lives in the very midst of their absence. Because I struggled so much to convey that in the circle, I decided to write only about my frustration in its creation... until I processed with a friend afterward and went outside to walk the dog, stunned to be greeted by a sky that reflected the circle painted in the still-dark morning. When I was little, I would create meaning by pairing all kinds of things together, seeing them as “signs” of this or that... and this is how the sky struck me— a sign that all those that we have loved and lost are still here in spirit. Perhaps I will change the title of today’s circle to the one that was first in my mind, “Those That Have Gone Before Us”. Thank you for hearing the deeper meaning of the circle, which just took a bit to share...”

“Yesterday, my friend and I were talking about the natural inclination to hone in on the small details that impart beauty, wonder, and appreciation that goes beyond what is first seen.  We remarked how children come to this place without trying, and gravitate toward those small unusual things that bring a sense of specialness or intrigue to something.  It is a quality that we are never too old to delight in and one which I hope just deepens as the years go by...  May we all find glimmers in the ordinary.”

“Although it is the first day of December, the sound of rain filled my ears through the night and pounded as I awoke this morning.  I can think of few things as soothing as the sound of a good rain and allowed myself to float in its reverberation against my windows, knowing the creek at the bottomland is swelling with its waters, and that all life on these lands, near and far, are sustained by this source.  Wishing you all the peace and vitality that is brought by rain...”

Wonder Round (Nov. 18-24, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

It has been a week of looking deep within, as well as around me, taking in the abundance with a grateful heart, and searching out that which needs deepening and enriching. I hope you have all been connected with those you hold dear, with time to nurture what you hold inside yourselves…

I decided to share a photo taken during the week of circles being shared, a glimpse into the literal world in which I live. Lately, I have really wanted to extend outside of the circle, and it is a fun way to share more of what I see outside my mind :).

“I took a walk as the sun set last eve (after being inside for way too much of the gorgeous day) and I walked the dog up and down our road, pausing to take in the meticulously-kept sweeping farmland of our neighbors. I love to look into the distance and watch the cows graze on the hills, delighted when they pause from their chewing to observe us on our trek. It is nice to sit in silent gaze, although I can never resist happily greeting them and trying to have a bit of conversation. I can feel my breath grow deeper as I breathe in the spaciousness of the rolling hills and ever-changing sky. But my eyes are also drawn to the closer-up details, like the hay bales stored in rows, so perfectly rolled like the shredded wheat I used to love to watch unfold in the milk at the bottom of my cereal bowl... Covered in snow just a few days ago, with grass that had seeded and grown out through the top, I admired their sculptural forms; as the sky filled with rich orange-pink hue on our descent back home, my eyes caught sight of a swatch of blazing color through the space between the bales, a flash of bright, deep, and unexpected intensity, and I almost missed it, thinking of the warm dinner that was waiting inside. These tiny bits of waiting-to-be-found beauty are always there, and I am reminded of the abundance of goodness found between the cracks.”

“I am the first to say that what comes out of my brush in these circles is not usually premeditated— rather, shapes and colors appear that elicit feelings or thoughts in me, as art does for all who view it. Although I woke up in a happy mood, anxious for a morning with extra freedom to work, the circle spoke to other things for which I am holding space in my mind. I am grateful for creativity and the looking glass it provides, giving form to what is beyond my ability to express in word.”

“There has been much soul-searching and pondering about what makes life fulfilling on the most meaningful levels, especially as of late. Perhaps it comes as my spouse and I have crossed into our fifties and our children continue to evolve more fully into themselves and the lives they will choose... it is a powerful thing to connect to what most deeply has meaning for us, and to create our lives around those things to the best of our abilities. It is a work in progress, and I am grateful it can happen in the small and simple ways as well as the larger ones. The core message I have been returning to is allowing myself to be moved by all that is around me and within me, and working out from that center. We are each brought to life by such a wide variety of things, making the world a fascinating and diverse place.”

(this is the only image of this piece that would load— sorry for the irregularity!)

“We all have pockets of hope tucked inside ourselves, there for the protecting, the growing, the releasing. Sending energy to tend to these sacred spaces so that they may continue to sustain you...”

“When I was in that quiet pre-awakening time this morning, I was reflecting over the many ways I have been fortunate in my life— the people, experiences, opportunities, privileges, lessons that have crossed my path. I realized there are really too many too count. I want to express my gratitude to each of you for being part of my life, and hope that your day, no matter spent in the company of others or alone, is full of love, nurturing, and abundance.”

“It was posted on a piece of paper behind the desk of someone I respect and admire, three simple words that I imagine most all of us struggle to believe at one time or another (or daily). It is easy to fall into patterns of pushing ourselves to always do/be more... not in the way that helps us grow or reach beyond what we thought possible in ourselves, but in the way of believing we are not enough on a deep level. I find myself caught in that cycle more than I would like, and am working on sinking into accepting how I am in the moment... Showing up to do these daily paintings brings this up from the first stroke, as I realize I will post whatever comes out, regardless of the “strength” of the painting. It is only when I remind myself that it is just the paint, paper, and myself at this desk that I can relax enough to just let it flow, and when I want it to be done, I can release it without harsh judgement and move on with my day. Perhaps I need to write my own hand-lettered note with these words in letters large enough to see, and post it over my own desk. I do believe we are all more fully ourselves when we live in these words.”

“When I was little and the cold wind would blow through freezing dark days, my mom would always say, “Think of how cold it must be for those without homes, and for the animals who have to be out in it all the time”. Her words ran through my mind this morning as I walked the dog in pitch dark howling weather, warm and dry under my raincoat, hood cinched around my head, and returned to my warm house, ready to put on a pot of tea and sit under a blanket. How grateful I am for these lessons my mother gave which continue to teach...”

It's A Good Week to Order Prints! /  by Hayden Michelle

Hello, all… just a friendly reminder that my all of my watercolor circles are available in print! You can view the entire collection on instagram.com, @michellehaydenartist, even if you are not a user of instagram— it may be helpful to view them in one location to more easily choose. Because we have some time off this week for Thanksgiving, it would be helpful if you order soon so that I can take advantage of the extra time in working to get them out to you :).

As a reminder, they are available as both 8 x 10 and 11 x 14 prints made on heavyweight 315 gsm archival watercolor inkjet paper, printed with Chromalife100+ inks for longevity and rich depth of color, packaged unframed, titled, and signed on archival backing board in a clear plastic sleeve, shipped in a sturdy cardboard mailer.


8 x 10 $35.00 (tax included) (+ $4.50 shipping and handling, US/+ $8.00 S&H, international)

11 x 14 $45.00 (tax included) (+ $7.00 shipping and handling, US/+ $13.00 S&H, international)

***SPECIAL*** Order three 8 x 10’s for $90 (shipping remains for price of one print), OR order three 11 x 17’s for $120, (shipping remaining same as one print). I am happy to meet up with those of you who are local, eliminating shipping costs!

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is any way I can further assist you. I feel grateful for each of you, especially as we are celebrating Thanksgiving here in the United States and I am mindful of all of the goodness in my life. Thank you for supporting me as I grow…

Wonder Round (Nov. 11-17, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

Yet another week has swiftly gone by and I am grateful for the weekend. Hoping all of you experience bits of peace where you can find them…

“After yesterday’s rather abstract interpretation steeped in personal meaning, my mind seems to be on a bit of boycott with this circle. I was able to start by choosing a color I love, violet, and worked out from there, combining hues I rarely put in the same space. No surprise, then, that a title did not leap out at me, except to remind myself to just let it be. Sometimes too much effort is spent on things that do not matter in the grand scheme of things. Tis often work for me to just to let things rest as they are...”

“We have been talking a lot around here about things we envision for the future as our boys continue to grow and make their own lives and we continue to cultivate our own. It is always a mix of being in the present and balancing this with hope for what is still to come. Wishing you all a positive start for the week ahead as I hop out the door...”

“This morning, music filled the room that was written by a woman (Hildegard von Bingen) almost 900 years ago— that I could sit and have it fill my ears, crystal clear as I paint, is profound. What is beyond words is feeling certain that the questions we grapple with now, are some of the same that surely were grappled with then, and for all of time. I am grateful for the space of stillness that allows me to connect to this wider history of being...”

“As each morning brings not only sunrise, but news of ongoing tragedy and devastation here and across the world, it can be hard to breathe. Words do not easily come that can begin to touch what countless beings are experiencing. There are many directly working to alleviate the suffering that comes from acts of violence, global warming effects, and natural diasasters, and deep gratitude for their courage, determination, and selflessness is held for them all; also needed is ongoing deep reflection on what each of us can do to relieve suffering in the small circles we inhabit, which radiate out into our one large shared circle.”

“I was thinking about how many things go around as I painted these elipses this morning, affecting those they touch, sometimes by only an edge— germs, news, ideas, emotional states, weather fronts... I am grateful that positive things like hope, love, and compassion also circulate in waves, holding the ability to bring a smidge of change to any given day, for both the giver and for the receiver. Wishing you all positivity in your flow today.”

“There is nothing like the first snow— although only an inch blankets the ground outside my window, it is fresh and pure white as it gently covers the branches and the blades of grass still poking through. The sense of anticipation as rain turns to chunky flakes of snow still brings me excited wonderment as it falls from the sky. Even the cats were mesmerized, clamoring for the best viewing spots on the window’s ledge, their heads twitching as they watched one after the other fall from the sky... No matter what is going on in the day, taking a few moments to be refreshed by our primal connection to nature lifts the spirits.”

“As I deemed this circle to be “finished” (coffee awaits) and turned it on it’s side (I can never quite figure out which way to orient them), it struck me how the days turn over so quickly, one into the other. Showing up to paint every morning brings me into contact with this awareness even more, not quite believing that the days and months keep progressing so rapidly, and that I am sitting here yet again, hoping something comes out. I continue to be grateful for this practice and the connection with all of you who share in this process by following along. Wishing you joy and the slowing of time as your weekend unfolds...”

PRINTS Are Here! /  by Hayden Michelle

It has been a labor-intensive and joyful process of both creating and preparing these daily watercolor circles for print, and I am so pleased to announce that they are now ready! They are available as both 8 x 10 and 11 x 14 prints made on heavyweight 315 gsm archival watercolor inkjet paper, printed with Chromalife100+ inks for longevity and rich depth of color, packaged unframed, titled, and signed on archival backing board in a clear plastic sleeve, shipped in a sturdy cardboard mailer.

8 x 10 $35.00 (tax included) (+ $4.50 shipping and handling, US/+ $8.00 S&H, international)

11 x 14 $45.00 (tax included) (+ $7.00 shipping and handling, US/+ $13.00 S&H, international)

***SPECIAL*** Order three 8 x 10’s for $90 (shipping remains for price of one print), OR order three 11 x 17’s for $120, (shipping remaining same as one print). I am happy to meet up with those of you who are local, eliminating shipping costs!

Please email me at www.michellehaydenart@gmail.com with your requests, including date of circle, title, and quantity. Because I will be printing these on demand due to the vast number of prints available (231 and counting!), it will take some time to get them out, but I hope to do so within 2 weeks of order (paid via Paypal— I will email you my address when I receive your order). I am doing so alongside homeschooling my children, and will do my best to print and ship out as soon as possible! Please order as soon as able, as the holiday season is most definitely upon us, and with it, congested mail systems :).

I am looking forward to seeing these circles expand out into your homes and hope you will feel good sharing them with those you love. They continue to bring me much joy and growth each day, and I am grateful for your engagement in this journey with me…

Wonder Round (Nov. 4-10, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

Finishing the wonderful paper clay workshop and sinking myself back into the flow of life out of which I briefly stepped, I happily returned home to my family, aware of the gift of belonging, creating, and having choices. There was much reflection on so many levels from the past week, which will continue to be chewed on and explored in big and small ways for months to come…

“Last evening, many of us decided to bring food back to the house, rather than eat out in town. As we gathered around the huge table and began to relax into the privilege of a generous sharing of plentiful food and drink with one another, a sharing stories and artwork began to flow. I could feel myself opening as I listened to the initial chatter rise to a crescendo of excited exchange, laughter, and exuberance, aware that the coming together brought us all more fully alive. We had experienced this already that day as our first instructor, @GrahamHayart handed over the baton to @RebeccaHuthcinsonstudio. It was a relief to gather and celebrate the work that we had made over the first 3.5 days, and then to completely clean off our spaces, move our spots in the room around a bit, and sink into Rebecca’s energy and the gifts she brings to our group. I feel deep gratitude for the opportunity to grow alongside one another, the lines between student and teacher not so important. Thank goodness we can continue to learn every day of our lives.”

“As we enter day six of the workshop, we are assimilating the methods and inspiration we have learned and deepening their application to our own ways of working. It is both challenging and a privilege to intensively tap into the space in our brains, hearts, and hands, and bring forth what is inside— much like the plowing on ahead in days of our lives that are full of a wide spectrum of feelings and experiences, despite the energy levels that may be depleted a bit in the reservoirs of our beings. Wishing you all energy for what lies ahead as we muster up here for another day of diving in...”

“On this final day of a wonderfully full paper clay workshop, I took an early morning detour to vote. My heart felt encouraged by the snaking line of cars that filled the hill leading up to the election space, only 25 minutes after the polls opened. Let us all exercise our privileged right to vote, in hopes to join together and bring more light and change to our country and the world.”

“Going to sleep last night with election news that did not bring hoped-for change in KY, I was heartened to awaken to news across the country that did bring change, and celebrate with many the historic firsts for women and minorities in our country. I look forward to engaging in conversation about this positive and empowering aspect with my sons today, aware that there is much more work yet to be done, as forward growth happens one step at a time...”

“As I am getting my feet back on the ground after seven intensive days learning paper clay, my mind is churning around and around about how I will incorporate this knowledge into my encaustic sculptural work. I know that developing that work into new ways of being is both exciting and daunting, and have had bouts of fear related to changing what is comfortable and familiar. When I can look on it as exploring and growing, the fear diminishes somewhat, and I realize I can direct that energy to fuel me deeper into the work of digging in through experimentation and growth in scale. Who knows what will happen when we open ourselves to greater possibilities that come from unearthing things inside yet to be discovered?”

“I know several who are struggling right now in some very difficult part of their lives, and wish I could ease the burden. As I painted delicate organic forms this morning, I was brought in touch with a yearning intention for those in my mind— to experience lightness of being and freedom from that which is weighty, painful, and overwhelming, even if for but a moment, and to feel surrounded by care and love like seeds that are carried by the wind...”

“This image was completely abstract, until I finished and she appeared to me— an undeniable bird form, that seemed rooted in feminine energy, waiting... it struck me how the power of our unconscious can reveal newness every time we look, and that accessing this is as simple as sitting down and letting something—anything— flow out. We can then be present to what we need to see... She reminded me of a scared elder, containing wisdom and strength, but not needing to flaunt it— rather, she appears to be open and receptive, listening to what we have to express. What do you see?”

Wonder Round (Oct. 21- Nov. 3, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

The past 2 weeks have been full with an exhibit opening, preparing for, attending, and regrouping following a workshop in paper clay in Lexington, KY, @Encausticastle (with Graham Hay and Rebecca Hutchinson), as well as the midterm election. Needless to say, I have been occupied elsewhere, and am happy to post this hefty review in images, grateful for the opportunities that have crossed my path, the lessons learned, and the furthering that I know will come as I move forward. It is nice to be home…

“Some days I think our minds just want to be left alone, free to paint or make things without any intention other than to be. Because I am drawn to finding meaning out of most anything, it is a bit of work to relax and just move my brush, keeping my mind quiet so my hand can be more free. Such a simple thing we can do for ourselves, yet it is challenging to quiet the chatter. I am fascinated by what we bring up from our unconscious to be seen, heard, touched, experienced...”

“Yesterday in the late afternoon, I walked on our land as the shadows became long, casting a glow across the tall grasses that were gently swaying in the wind. The sky was a pure and crisp vibrant shade of blue. When I turned to face the side of the slope on which the sun shone, I was met with dancing orbs of light that seemed to glow and sparkle with a bluish-purple cast, surrounded by bright white light. It was striking, and I realized that it was one of those moments that was better taken in with my eyes than my camera. I stood quietly and absorbed the experience of the light, color, movement, and energy, and thought of how difficult that would be to capture in paint. And this morning I realized that it doesn’t really matter how well we capture something we are creating in terms of accuracy—it is the act of acknowledging and recording what we see, feel, know, and experience, and enabling the ability to make those connections when we bring it outside of our minds and into the space in front of us. It served as another reminder to paint gently and with the intention of reflection, not self-judgement.”

“This one spoke to me of light going outward from its simple form. As each day goes by and I watch people radiate bits of light despite the difficult stories they hold within, my respect for the tenacity and goodness of people deepens and moves me...”

“Although this title may sound random, it popped into my head as I was adding in the blades of grass at the end, feeling there needed to be more aliveness in the circle. It reminded me of being little and intently searching and searching for friends and siblings hidden behind their carefully chosen nooks and crannies and the relief that followed when finally able to call them out into the open. How like these blades of grass and children we are, coming out of hiding to be seen in the light, grow, and begin again.”

“Early the other morning, I finished my circle and decided to take the time to fill an empty paint tin with colors I mixed myself. It’s empty stark white pans had been beckoning to me for months as they lay waiting to be filled. And every time I’d had the urge to stop what I was doing to get out my tubes and begin filling, I went on to another more “important” task that lay waiting on the same desk. I could not stop smiling as I squirted blob after blob into the squares, mixing with toothpicks and making a big mess, making myself more late for the morning by the minute. And I didn’t care. 


It was such delightful fun to bring new color into my palette, which has been making me feel rather bored. And it was such a simple thing to allow myself to do— breaking out of not only my morning to-do’s, but opening up a new array of colors to sink into... What a visual metaphor I can carry with me— giving myself permission to break out of what I expect from myself, calling upon what comes from within rather than just from what lies in front of me. May we all give ourselves permission to add new colors to our palettes!”

(Today I simply let the pigment flow, one into the other, much like we are influenced by each other as we go about the hours of our days and weeks. I am grateful for the influence of positive energy, compassion, and the kindred spirit of shared journeys, which help to balance the difficulties present in our lives and world. May we strive to add beauty and support to each other along the way...”

“Once in a while I have an experience in which I very much feel like a fish out of water. It is interesting how my first reaction is one of intense discomfort as I try to get air into my gills, and then slowly come to realize that if I flop around, perhaps I can make my way back into the water. It is easy to revert back to patterns that started in school years, thinking we should do something to fit into what is presenting before us. And it is reassuring to snap to and realize it is okay to be different, and even more so that we do not have to apologize for who we are.”

“Percolate is not a word I use often, although I love how the action of it reflects what happens in our minds as ideas, thoughts, and insights that are swirling around become more clear to us as they seep into consciousness, ready to be enacted upon. It is a word that makes me happy, reflecting the infinite power of the mind. (And it makes me want to go and make my coffee :)).”

“Faith is a powerful word and means many things to many people. For me, it is one that is closely related to patience and trust, and is a work in progress. Art helps me practice the concept daily, a safe way to deepen my understanding and connect to myself, others, and the oneness that we share. In times where darkness is heavily present in the daily news, I remind myself of the importance of holding on to faith so that we can gather the energy needed for healing and change in our world.”

“This is one of those mornings where my mind has much swirling around in it, but I can’t seem to find words that reflect this painting... so I am doing what I sometimes used to do in social work— give people permission to state the obvious. Just speaking where we are at with someone who is listening, whether it is profound or has been said a hundred times, brings connection with the other and strengthens the experience of shared humanity. Like the shimmering gold in the paint pan I found removed from my tin and lying in my desk drawer, I wish you all moments of being seen and heard.”

“As we celebrate the last day of October with Halloween, I am reminded of an assignment given in an oil painting class 30 years ago (how did that happen?!). The instructor challenged us to celebrate new beginnings in our composition, rather than focusing on the death and fear related to Halloween. It made me as happy then, as it does now, as today I leave for 7 days of learning paper clay! I love clay but have only dabbled in paper clay, and am thrilled to have the privilege to sink into an expanded medium! I am psyched to meet the gifted instructors, the other artists attending, and to be staying in the @Encausticastle (even on Halloween night!), where it will be held. I will do my best to paint each day, but may have lapses in posting and responding, due to much energy output being used. Wishing new beginnings to all of you as we leave this month and enter into the next...”

“At the beginning of day one of our paper clay workshop @grahamhayart at the lovely @Encausticastle, we gathered as unconnected dots from all parts of the world and life, bringing with us diverse backgrounds unified by a common hunger to learn more. Being part of the formation of group dynamics is always fascinating, as new energies emerge, cross, and blend while also remaining separate as we deepen into our personal goals for the week. I look forward to getting to know each person more, and to see how we grow both as a group and as the individuals with the privilege to dive in... www.grahamhay.com.au/www.pbsartist.com”

“As we greeted day two after getting our feet wet the previous day, we sank into a rhythm, punctuated by bursts of excitement as we were inspired by each others’ ideas, sighs of relief when hypothesis tested yielded pieces that did not fall apart, exhalations (and a few words) of exasperation when they did (fall apart), and lovely long periods of silence, when it was clear that we were in a flow. All parts made the day interesting and full as we continued to explore this amazing medium of paper clay and the expectations, encouragement, limitations, and emotional states that showed up. But the times of silence were my favorite— not only because I crave silence, but because it was there because of being fully engaged in what each of us were doing. It made me smile repeatedly, grateful for the time, space, and energy to learn together. Now to go downstairs and check on what fell apart last night!”


www.grahamhayart.com.au, www.pbsartist.com”

“Before I even transferred a 24-inch sculpture from the workshop studio to the garage yesterday, making room for new exploration in my allotted work space, I could feel its fragility. As a kind participant helped me balance it as we headed down the steps, I could feel the shift of its tall walls happening, and alerted her that it was going to fall over. Although the purpose of its creation was to explore different building techniques, joins, and composition, I had spent two days laboring over it and was not exactly wanting it to break. But as it began to topple, falling into many pieces, I surprised myself by laughing, despite the helplessness of watching it crumble. Although there were elements of things I was curious about and attached to, overall it was a structure I normally would not have built. 


I realized I felt more free by not having to continue working on it, transferring it home, or looking at it, and removed some parts that felt connected to my core and could be integrated into new work. Impermanence is an inherent part of being alive, and sadly, the letting go is not usually as light-hearted as this. I am reminded of the daily struggle of balancing new and old, living and dying, growing and becoming stagnant. Perhaps I will bring a small recreated sculpture with bits of the broken to my desk at home as a reminder of this experience. I am grateful for the gentle lesson that allowed me to ponder this side of letting go.”

Wonder Round (Oct. 14-21, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

This week has brought a slice of many parts of life as each day brought new experiences. It is profound how we are changed by our surroundings and daily living. I am grateful to be in a community that comes together when needed and continues to enrich, support, and grow closer, bit by bit.

(“I love to watch the moon appear in the night sky, watching the changing phases that seem to unfold all too quickly as the days pass. I think my favorite of all is when the moon is visible only as a sliver. I am amazed at the amount of light that is cast on the fields below from even that small bit, a reminder that hope and vision are possible with just a glimmer of light.”)

(“Reading this one simple word, “safe”, after awakening quite early when no discovery of the missing child had yet been made, filled me with overwhelming relief. In this small community, people from all walks of life pulled together to search for this little girl, finding her at 4:30 this morning, in the woods 2.5 miles from her home. I feel immense gratitude for Eden’s safe reunion with her family, and for the tremendous efforts put forth by so many in the search efforts, whether on foot, sharing of sustenance for those out on the ground, communication efforts that kept people informed and organized, and the prayers and positive energy shared by people from all over... such a reminder that life can change in the blink of an eye, and that people will put forth the best in themselves when called upon for someone in need. Please keep this girl and her family close, as well as all those who were involved, as they recover from this traumatic experience and sink into the joy of her finding...”)

(“As the hue of the goldenrod is fading, I have been noticing sadness at the leaving of rich color. I began pondering what we transition to inside our homes to bring light and warmth as the color drains outside, and am looking forward to firing up the wood stove and gathering around it with my family, bringing out favorite quilts made with fabric infused with memories of long ago (stitched by my mama’s hands), a time when working over a vat of hot beeswax brings comfort rather than adds to the heat outside, and the earlier setting of the sun, which makes going to sleep so inviting. What things do you most look forward to with the change of seasons?”)

(“Patience is a virtue that continually challenges me. I think that is because it is linked to trust... We all have things that require a tremendous amount of both, try as we might to change what is before us either in time, intensity, or outcome. This simple laying down of ink brought that awareness out of my muddied feelings this morning, and I am grateful to at least be able to give it form, as it always lessens the internal pressure when I bring it outside of myself. Hope you all find even the smallest of ways to cultivate patience and trust in your days.”)

(“As I sat through an entire day of orientation yesterday for Kentucky Crafted alongside 8 other artists juried in by the Kentucky Arts Council, the amount of energy in the room was palpable and the temperature of the room reflected that as it continued to rise while we eagerly soaked up new pieces of information, offerings, and support that were being offered by this wonderful program. It was invigorating to hear the path of each artist there, their love of making art of all kinds, powerful. And it was moving to hear each presenter speak about the program— exuding kindness, availability, reassurance, professionalism, and optimism, despite the fact that because of funding cuts for the Kentucky Arts Council, they have gone from a staff of 20 to a staff of 11 since June. They remain very proud of the program and of the state in which we live, and strive to continue to grow the longstanding and strong tradition of arts here, so vital to many layers of all of our lives, artist or not. As my body was registering the growing warmth in the room, I thought of how much we all come alive when we are connected to that which moves us and makes us happy, and are supported in bringing it out. I connected deeply to gratitude, and send encouragement to each of you to do what you love.”)

(“Yesterday as I was sitting by the bubbling creek, lost in my thoughts and the patterns of the current as it went by, I was greeted by the rushing up of two girls in our @redoaks_explorersgroup, urging me to, “Shut your eyes and open your hands!”. Of course, I obliged, not being able to repress the smile at being told what to do with such expectancy and anticipation (both theirs and mine!). My face went into full surprise when I laid eyes on the beauty of a fossil that one of them laid in my hand— a perfect spiral formed in a rock worn smooth by the water. A boy had discovered one two weeks ago that I was amazed by (and not-so-secretly coveting), and I assumed it had been a once in a lifetime find. To see another in my hand was thrilling, but what made it even more special was that it was being gifted to me by this child. I encouraged her to take it for her collection, but to no avail. As we walked alone along a path in the woods later, I told her how much it meant to me, and how I would keep it on my painting desk and send her good thoughts every morning as I reflected on her generous heart and spirit. She shared dear words with me, and I felt such gratitude for this depth and vulnerability of sharing.

That is one of my favorite things about homeschooling— we have many opportunities to get to know each others’ kids and have meaningful interactions with them. I deeply appreciate the trust that is built by sharing not only the parenting as we are out in nature, but the nurturing and experiences of discovery and joy. It is a precious gift, and one that truly does go both ways. I hope no matter the stage I am at in life that I stay connected to the energy of children, who make us grow bigger every day...”)

(“I am not sure why rising and setting suns keep showing up in these circles... I suppose it is because I am aware of the gift of them, each one a privilege to witness as we continue to have a body in which to breathe and see. Today I am starting over on scanning all the watercolor circles I painstakingly scanned for 7 hours yesterday, only to have the program glitch out and erase my day’s work. Clearly, this was not a life-threatening crisis, but it did occur to me that if it were my last day on earth, it was not how I would be spending it. I am working to be mindful of connecting to the joy in each task of the day, even the mundane and not-so-enjoyable ones, hoping to remain connected to the purpose behind each, recognizing it is part of being alive and growing (and did I not just have a post on patience, haha?).”)

Wonder Round (Oct. 7-13, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

Wishing you all a peaceful week ahead as I round up the last one…

(“It is difficult to find words about my circle this morning, painted mostly with my left hand. As I worked on art all day yesterday as news unfolded, I reflected on the task in front of me to raise our boys, and how challenging a world it is in which they are growing. It saddens me and makes me angry beyond what I want to write here, and so I come back to my responsibility to do the best I can to help them navigate the most beautiful and the most wretched parts of being human, and that which lies between. I am often stopped in my tracks as I field their painful questions, listen to their perspectives, and witness them remain open, curious, excited, and hopeful about life. I am grateful for the lessons they bring to us, and am so happy that we are heading into the woods today as a family, taking some much-needed time to connect.”)

(“As I painted two abstract lines this morning, they quickly became matches, ignited. As I laid in the color of energy and warmth, I pondered how crucial it is to remain connected to the light that exists inside ourselves and each other. My hope is that this will fuel our work and enable us to join with the power of others to bring light to the darkness.”)

(This morning my spouse got up earlier than usual and offered extra time before leaving for work to have coffee together, which we usually share on the weekend at a more leisurely time. I had wanted to paint first thing, and realized I could very easily do so, if I would just let go of expectation for having a well-developed circle. I could just paint for fun, which was one of the original foundations for these daily paintings. I find myself pushing up against expectations that exist only in my head, and have to keep reminding myself that they are mine to remove. Practice daily, indeed. I am grateful for the gentle nudge this morning (as well as the caffeine waiting in the French press) that sheds light on old patterns that call for release, one sip at a time :).”)

(“This circle began by choosing to use flat brushes, which I rarely use... I suppose I am drawn to the more organic shapes of a round brush, rather than the clean straight edges of a flat one. As line after line was laid down, I could not resist connecting them with some curvy tracks of water, and realized they reminded me of that game we used to play as children— Pick-up Sticks. I can remember the sound of the splay of sticks as they hit the hardwood floor, and how much concentration I would try and muster to get one removed from the other without disturbing the main pile. I was reflecting on how much this feels like the interweaving of political turmoil and the affected lives across the world, as well as some that are hitting very close to my core. Try as I might to paint lightly, feeling too tired by the emotion within to express it externally some days, the overlap remains there. Some days I wish we could just pick up the pile and start again, but it is obviously not that simple. I continue to search for the beauty and the power of the human spirit that each stick holds.”)

(“Some days we awaken not in the most repleanished space, knowing the day will proceed with good intention, yet fueled by fumes, rather than a full tank of gas— a reminder that we are human and have tides like the ocean. Wishing you all the ability to harness extra energy in the day that lies before you...”)

(“As I awoke in crisp cool air, refreshed from having slept by a window connecting me to the night breeze, I felt energized by the change and hopeful that more is on the way in circles whose impact radiate more widely and deeply..”)

(“As I chose colors to fill this space on yet another day, I reflected on the simple, yet profound, gift of being free to express what I choose to express— a privilege not available to so many in this world. I am grateful for the ability to make art, and to share it publicly. Wishing you all freedom in the ways you most need it...”)

"Outgrowth" /  by Hayden Michelle

“Outgrowth", (27 x 39 x 15), suspended

Although I started this piece last year, I returned to it this past summer, feeling compelled to add an additional branch to the first, as the lone branch hanging over my drawing desk seemed to be calling for a companion. I took the original photograph at a Hispanic food section in a grocery store that was filled with all kinds of fruits and vegetables that were unfamiliar to my diet, being both drawn to and repelled by the spiny protrusions that protected what must must have been fleshy fruit contained within the flat surfaces.

After printing them out in one large image, I hand-carved the entire surface, defining the spaces between the spines with line and a sense of movement. Then began the work of cutting them out into discs, hoping to soften the bristled surface.

Once the table lay full of newly formed shapes, the process of joining together ensued. I began the painful task of sewing thickly-layered waxed fabric onto the form of the branches, a process which got me in touch with the reality of the sharp edges of my needle that the spines surely possessed. My fingers sore, I thought of the many workers whose hands knew this pain from the harvest, not the privilege of creating artwork…

As each form became a pod that encapsulated the branch, a sense of satisfaction began to settle into my mind, and I smiled as I saw the forms multiplying. As often is the case in adhering my sculpture to substrates of any kind, there is an immense concentration and balancing as they come together, much like the pieces in our lives as we progress down paths.

The biggest piece of insight, however, was that this suturing is intrinsic to how we live and grow each day, yet we often hide the very stitches that hold us together and allow us to function. I made a conscious choice during this construction that I was going to intentionally incorporate the stitches in much of my sculpture, allowing them to become part of the beauty of the form, visible for all to see.

I felt empowered to enable this evolution into dimensional pods that became part of the branches, letting it remain unclear whether they emerged as an outgrowth of the branch or attached themselves from another source. Like the pods, our lives are shaped by inner and outer experiences, a fascinating process when we can witness the beauty that can emerge when pushed beyond our boundaries, remain grounded to our core, and are supported by each other.

Wonder Round (Sept. 30-October 6, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

This has been a milestone of a week for me, as I turned half a century old (which actually makes me laugh). Steeped in gratitude for my time thus far on earth, and very much looking forward to what lies ahead, I have been quite reflective in the midst of being busy. I received the good news of being juried into the Kentucky Crafted Program, which will enable me to have a booth in KY Crafted: The Market annual art market in the spring, receive mentoring and exhibit opportunities, and be listed in the KY Crafted Directory. I also got word that I was juried in to the Lexington Art League’s PRHBTN show, which will exhibit from October 26- November 18, 2018. I am grateful for the opportunities that are unfolding, and for the connections, new and old, that are part of my life. Thank you for following along on this journey and supporting me— I am quite fortunate!

(“As I awaken to the privilege of celebrating my 50th year, I feel profoundly grateful for the depth of life and love that has brought me this far— I have been gifted beyond words... And as the chrysalis metamorphosizes into being with wings, so may I continue to grow and transform in this second half century of flight. Hooray for the joy of being alive!”)

(“As I wound down for sleep after a very full day, I logged onto FB and was overwhelmed with gratitude for all the love shared with me on my birthday. I am amazed, still, that the ability exists to connect with each other across the surface of this huge world, and that we have the power to lighten each other’s days and nights through our engagement with one another. These are the positives that stick with us throughout our busy days, giving balance to the energies that are not so easy to take. They remind me to reach out to others when I can, hoping to spread a bit of love that has been so generously shared with me. Thank you all for the beauty you express in so many unique ways...”)

(“This morning there are not many words... just reflection that comes from being with what appears in my circle. Well, maybe just a few words— for the first time, I am not posting the original circle that I painted this morning. And it is not because I was not happy with the composition (although I wasn’t), but because it was not true to how I was feeling this morning. I kept trying to redeem it, change it, etc, to no avail, and decided to give myself permission to not even finish the first one— to start over. Letting this one unfold with no intention other than to not block what was coming out, revealed a very different image, and one that felt congruent with my inner. Now I can return to reflect on that which appears within. Strange how difficult it can be to let ourselves just be with what we are feeling, and not apologize, cover, or push past what is uncomfortable.”)

(“This morning I awoke to an alarm set for 1.5 hours later than usual, and then proceeded to not get out of bed for almost an additional hour. After a legitimate brush of regret/anxiety over how to get the morning routine completed before we must leave the house, I realized that once again, I can make choices that will enable us to get out on time (like painting a simple circle!). And more importantly, I realized how tightly I keep myself inside a box (that I made), and that it does not have to be this way. Perhaps the starting over on a new circle yesterday and painting the truth of my experience was a beginning for me. I am pretty sure we could all use more opportunities for breaking out of that which no longer fits, even if only in tiny steps of change. I am going to work on being more conscious of the expectations I have for myself that keep me feeling constrained, and gently or powerfully, depending on the day, greet them. Wishing you all bits of freedom and change where you can find it...”)

(“This morning I am feeling relatively empty in the reflection department, and instead, am immersed in more of a floating space in my tired noggin. Looking forward to being out in the woods today with our Red Oaks (@redoakscna) friends, soaking up the peace and beauty of nature while we play and learn.”)

(“After returning home from a beautiful surprise birthday celebration in the woods yesterday, complete with a shimmering birthday crown and singing around a cake baked from the finest sand, rocks, and leaves to decorate, I basked in the privileged glow of feeling loved. I have been reflecting on this experience and the lines that tie us to one another... It is easy to see the connection when it comes from shared world views and values, and less so when coming from different perspectives, yet the interconnection is still there. We all share the existence of being human and the experiences of loss, joy, suffering, adventure, and wonder of living day to day. Being mindful of how to balance the strong connections we have while remaining open to others that may be difficult to see is a task that is present daily for me, and one which we strive navigate with our children. No small thing...”)

(“As we continue with temperatures that feel more like summer than fall, I notice the draining of color on the hillsides... muted browns replace the vibrant greens, deep reds creep up through the tall grasses, and bittersweet sprouts up where I could not see it before. Goldenrod blankets much of the hills and is the most vibrant of all, along with the last of the ironweed, a rich violet shade which always moves me, resting nearby with its last burst of color. How I miss the intensity of color when winter comes, yet anticipate the magic of the fall that will visit before the starkness of winter lands. Day by day, the hills will brighten with pigment of their own— how I look forward to taking it in as the show unfolds.”)

(“It is difficult to find words about my circle this morning, painted mostly with my left hand. As I worked on art all day yesterday as news unfolded, I reflected on the task in front of me to raise our boys, and how challenging a world it is in which they are growing. It saddens me and makes me angry beyond what I want to write here, and so I come back to my responsibility to do the best I can to help them navigate the most beautiful and the most wretched parts of being human, and that which lies between. I am often stopped in my tracks as I field their painful questions, listen to their perspectives, and witness them remain open, curious, excited, and hopeful about life. I am grateful for the lessons they bring to us, and am so happy that we are heading into the woods today as a family, taking some much-needed time to connect.”)

Wonder Round (Sept. 23-29, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

I had the privilege of going away for the week, which ended up being chock-full of experiences. I am happy to return home and get into the swing of the fall, and carry with me the energy of the mountains. Wishing you all peace in the week ahead…

(“As I prepare this morning to take my son to the mountains for a 4-day group learning experience while I camp alone, I am aware of the privilege of time spent by myself. Despite the forecasted days of rain, I am looking forward to being out in nature, having a roomy and protective tent, and plenty of art supplies to keep me happy, should I be seeking shelter inside my tent. Although disorienting to be without internet and cell service for 4 days, I know it will be good for me, allowing me to sink into my own thoughts and the simplicity of meeting my basic needs while I am in this beautiful place. I will make my morning circles, collecting them to post when I return home, and hold space for all those who need it, sending the peace and restorative energy of the mountains outward while I am inward.”)

(“As I gleefully skipped down the trail that paralleled a rushing stream, I was almost instantly stopped by mushrooms, pale yellow, almost like butter. I stopped to photograph them, because I could not resist documenting their beauty, only to return to the trail, discovering orangey ones a few steps down the way. These were followed by reds which were as vibrant a red as you can imagine, and away my little camera clicked. I was delighted to be able to stop without concern of slowly anyone down, as not only was I hiking solo, but hardly a soul was yet on this soon-to-be-busy trail— a gift, indeed. By the time I made it to the half way point, surprised this time by bright fuschia spiked pods that housed crimson orange berries that burst out from below, the dreaded red battery symbol that had been flashing most of the way gave way to the “battery depleted” reading. I had to laugh out loud at the truth of this short announcement, and relished in the fact that hiking along this beautiful trail at inconsistent pace to stop, look, and breathe in, was doing exactly the opposite— recharging my depleted battery. I could hear my 11 yo old speak into my ear as he wisely did one day, saying, “Mom, you could just remember what you see in your mind...”. And he was right. Although there were lovely bits I am sad to have missed with my lens, perhaps I was able to take them in more fully because I only had my eyes and senses to record them. So today, the painted fungi are from memory, in honor of my son :).”)

(“When I arrived Sunday evening and checked into my site, the rangers told me to be extra careful, as a bear got up on the side of the Girl Scouts’ tent at 3 a.m. that morning, and proceeded to try and get into their car (oh, and that it was yards from where my tent was to be). OK, I do know better than to leaves Cheetos on the ground, let alone by my tent, but I was not super reassured. I eventually slept, but awoke from multiple dreams that were not so calming, and early in the morning, heard a loud brushing against my tent, which sent me into a straight-up position in about .5 seconds. Nothing followed, and the wind was blowing very loudly, so I could not hear anything on the ground. When I awoke, I left to hike, and upon return, was told by my new neighbors that the rangers set up a live trap for the bear, who was heard brushing against tents early this morning— and that the trap was just catty-corner behind my tent. Hmmm... not super excited for round two, and underneath that, sad that the bears are so acclimated to humans being careless, putting people at risk, and especially endangering the lives of the bears, who are at our mercy.

Much to my dismay, I had a return visit again the next night, in a dead silence that followed intense storms and wind. This time, it pushed against the side of my tent, and then brushed slowly along the length, and paced around for 50 minutes, chomping on what I found out later was acorns from the generously-producing tree outside my tent. Ugh. I sat with my fear the whole time, bear spray in one hand, air horn in the other, not wanting to alarm the elderly naighbors that had come in that night. Eventually, the footsteps left, and relief washed over me. I came to my senses on the hike that day, and realized I was not up for a third-time’s-the-charm, and booked a room at the Tally Ho Inn in the closest town. Such relief in shelter, and in sleep that felt safe. (Part II to follow in next post, as this one’s too long! BTW, that’s my orange tent in the circle, in close proximity to said bear, surrounded by waves of protective energy— because a magical force field comes in handy at times, even if only in your mind!).

The following day as I walked in a downpour, a group of hikers ahead of me but out of sight, I had the feeling I should turn around, but kept walking for a few minutes, not feeling at all ready to hit a halfway point, but then a very clear voice in my head told me to turn around NOW, and as I did, two cubs crossed the path that I had just walked through. My humming turned to loud singing, and I waited to make sure a mama was not following the cubs... with shaky legs and a few shallow breaths, I proceeded to walk down through that same path— bear spray in hand, singing loudly and with a bit of stacatto, scanning for any sign of movement in the close rhododendron that lined the trail. Never have I been so relieved to reach a parking lot at the end of a trail! I certainly experienced my fill of bear energy this trip, and will make sure I am in sight of at least one hiker the next time. Lesson learned, and happy to be home safely...”)

(“As I set out to hike yesterday, I knew the rain would keep many people off the trails, and that I best find some fellow hikers to follow for safety. As I made a final stop before driving to the trailhead down the road, two men approached the building for the same reason I did (last bathrooms before the trail!) and after sizing them up independently as we all stood in line for the bathroom (life as humans :)), I deemed them safe and took the risk to ask if I could follow behind them a good distance while on the trail. They were more than willing, and I assured them I would not interfere in their time/space, and they reassured me it was no trouble, and that they were happy for some new company. Still, I kept some distance between us as we began the descent up the hill and checked the tread on my boots in case I needed to run (truly), and we began to engage in easy conversation about who we were (names are always a good idea!), where we were from, what we did in our current lives— off to a good start.

As the miles passed, we engaged in deeper discussion about various parts of our lives, and were absorbed in listening as each spoke more of their personal story. There was intermittent silence, support, and respect for each person’s sharing, and we dipped into experiences about nature, art, jobs, life, death, afterlife, marriage, children, and spirituality (one man was a psychologist steeped in decades of studying spirituality). I never would have guessed that there would be such a profound sharing between myself and two strangers, or that we would finish the trail almost shoulder to shoulder as we walked back down the path. We all agreed that it was a gift to have met and shared this small bit of life’s journey with one another (even having met a bear on the trail, which determined our turn-around point!). For me, it was yet another reminder to trust my gut and remain open, reinforcing that unexpected goodness can come from unlikely sources which in the past would have most definitely made me turn on my heel and go the other way, alone. I am thankful for the growth that years of healing and life experience can bring...”)

(“As I drove home last evening with a van full of tired and contented kids and most every belonging, waterlogged, I was reflecting on the many experiences that got packed into just a few days away... lessons about facing fear, trusting myself and others, sinking into the beauty and stillness of nature to replenish depleted mind and body... feeling deeply grateful for it all. As the van wheels transported us across pavement filled with heavy rainfall and returned us safely home, I felt the relief of being back in familiar territory, and the privilege of returning to a home and family, and friends near and far. I am grateful for the paintings that came into these circles (this one in a downpour by a swollen stream that roared so loudly I would have strained to hear someone speaking next to me) to help remind me of the essence of this excursion. Although happy to have gone, I am happy to be home, and to be in this space again :).”)

(“As the light of warm colors came into this circle, I was reminded of the inner light that resides in all of us, and reflective about the things which bring me closest to this awareness. What makes you most deeply connect to your own glow, as well as that of others?”)

(“Being screenless in the woods for much of the past week, I missed the unfolding of the news— until last evening. There are not enough words to describe my feelings for Dr. Ford and all those who know what it is like to speak the truth and not be believed or to keep it locked inside (fearing this very denial), and who carry the burden and shame that inevitably comes from being victimized. There is tremendous courage and strength harnessed in living every day, whether or not the words are ever spoken. The least we can do is connect to our compassion, respect, and support— basic human decency— and surround with healing energy rather than that which further traumatizes. Wishing the light of healing and love to all those in need...”)

Wonder Round (Sept. 16-- 22, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

As I am late in sharing a recap of this week, I realize that several of these entries are about the passage of time, which seems to go by all too quickly. I am hoping to get back into the flow of a slightly slower pace, and wish you all space and rhythm, as well…

(“This morning I awakened with a smile on my face, feeling deep gratitude for my nephew’s wedding. The word his mama used when we were leaving last night, 
was “full”. My heart is wide open, having witnessed the deep love, joy, celebration, connection, and beautiful and moving expression of emotion... reminders of these powerful elements of life.”)

(“As we begin yet another chock-full week, I am noticing a desire to check and recheck my daily planner, making sure not to miss what is scheduled as one day unfolds into the next. I realize it is also taking me out of the present moment, which offers the chance to be grounded in what is happening in front of and within me. Hopefully, this bit of awareness will carry over into increased frequency of stopping to breathe, feeling my feet on the earth, noticing who and what beauty is surrounding me, and centering in the gratitude of each moment, as that is truly all we are ever sure of experiencing. Wishing you all peace and centering as you enter what lies ahead in your week...”)

(“Although I have been up working on art since 4:30a, it has not been on this circle... I spent it preparing sculptures for juried review, which will be transported after I finish this post. As my body was trucking through the room towards the car, feeling I did not have enough time to paint, I decided to give myself 15 minutes to put pigment to paper, and call it a day. It is surprising how even taking a few moments to create can bring some relief, as well as some outward expression of what we are feeling inside. Onward!”)

(“The open cavities within this circle remind me of doors, and how difficult it can be to decide which one to enter. Having choices helps, as does making space to discern what is best for us in the moment and in the long run. Sometimes I wish we could magically create these for each other when in need...”)

(“Finally, we are heading into the fields and woods today, after way too many hours in the car and buildings in the recent stretch of days. I have realized how much I am missing the feel of fresh air on my skin, the sounds of the breeze and birds, the hum of insects that sing autumn in... so grateful to meet up with Red Oaks Center for Nature and Arts pals, and to soak up some warmth from the sun (plenty— hot one ahead!), watch the kids run through flower-filled fields, and engage in lots of romping in the cool and welcoming creek that awaits. Hoping everyone can find access to whatever bits of nature you can find, and soak up some of the replenishment, solace, and joy that is offered there...”)

(“As we spent hours creekside yesterday, it was so interesting to watch the kids play, from ages 2-15, and to watch the adults join in, one by one in various engagements, until there was no distinction between the two. Delight was evident in the satisfying work of building impressive dams using rocks washed in from recent flooding, sculptures built on the sand and on top of a very long thick root that had washed up, silhouetted by a series of hand-rolled grey clay spheres using clay mined from the hillside that had eroded and been left bare, tunnels carved into the same hillside (hoping to “reach water”), trains and pretend snakes built out of rocks that were pushed into the wet sand. Others discovered a fallen tree that became an amazingly bouncy seesaw that had the benefit of plunging into water on the descent (offering relief from the 90 degree temperatures), and many found secret hiding spots that had been formed by nests of branches and trees and new currents of water, offering refuge for their pretend worlds.

It was so lovely to see the release from daily worries and routines as minds opened to sink into the natural elements in this magical place— a reminder that play is easier than we think, if we pause but for a few moments and engage with what is around us. These were such gifts from a few hours of slowing down and being with beauty and creative energy, led by the modeling of our children. I feel deep gratitude for all those who work tirelessly to create these experiences for our children (and us!) in nature, while remaining dedicated to home educating their own—a huge thank you, committed leaders at Red Oaks Center for Nature and the Arts (@redoakscna).

(“Some may find these dark colors depressing, but I find them soothing and reflective, and often, I gravitate towards them. Sinking into their depths, I find quiet, and often, beauty, as the pigment is rich and generous, blending outward with luminosity, despite the dark... The motion in this space became complex and interwoven, and brought to mind how this mirrors our lives, filled with experiences that are minutes or years in the making. I continue to both struggle with and embrace that which has gone into the fabric of my being, knowing deep down there is no other way to be me. We are all works in progress (thankfully), and will continue to grow within the weave of these same threads, adding new color, thickness, texture, and pattern along the way.”)

Tiny Helicopters /  by Hayden Michelle

“Potential”, (16 x 20 x 2,5 inches)

When I was young, I spent countless hours up in a favorite Maple tree, collecting handfuls of these tiny pods and releasing them to the ground. I never tired of their whirling journey as they spiraled downward to the welcoming grass below.

I enjoyed photographing the fresh pink and green coloring of tender seeds that remains for only a few days before beginning to dry and lighten in preparation for flight.

As the deciding moment begins the unfolding of a monarch’s chrysalis, carving the ridges and valleys of the maple seeds breathes life into them. There is joy in holding a maple seed as large as a turkey platter. How I would love to have released them, perched from a high branch…

The seeds came to rest on a framed cradled birch panel, contained, but for a moment. Seeing them larger than life serves as a powerful reminder of our ability to propel forward, carrying the great potential that awaits inside us all.

Wonder Round (Sept. 9-15, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

As another depth-filled week has swiftly rolled by, I hold gratitude for the sanctity of life. Wishing you all goodness and time to rest in what is sacred in your lives in the week to come…

(“I have been reflecting on what it means to make things as we go about our days... maybe as simple as the ritual of a morning cup of coffee or tea, carving out time to slow down and engage in good conversation, working diligently on a project, or bringing something new into the world, whether it be a piece of art or a child. I am feeling the gift of this ability to choose at least some of what my days hold, and am invigorated by the green of this painting, which exudes hopefulness. Wishing you all the freshness of a new day and week...”)

(“As color begins to fill the circle, it always is interesting to see what takes shape, planned or unplanned as each stroke blends pigment into pigment, and travel is enabled by the addition of water. As I was coming up on the last two empty shapes, it struck me that it was important to leave them open, receptive to whatever might evolve in time to fill them (or not). This theme seems to keep jumping into my awareness as of late— to be mindful to create periods of space and rest in the midst of fullness, and to trust that what is needed will be found in that space. Now to remember to sink in...”)

(This morning I painted as I held close in my heart some that I care deeply about that are in pain. It’s an uncomfortable truth that there is nothing to do that can take away the suffering of another, no matter the source (and there are many). The only thing I come back to is to surround them with love and light and open ears as I carry them close in mind and heart. Wishing all who need it slivers of light and the knowing that you are loved... (And certainly, on this tragic anniversary of 9-11, the message here extends to so many...)”)

(“Following the energy of yesterday’s circle, I reflected on the parts of us that are left fragmented by the inevitable suffering in our lives, and how these pieces are inseparable from the whole of who we are. I have found that in acknowledging and honoring these parts in myself and others, that my compassion grows, softening my edges rather than hardening them. May we all be gentle with ourselves and others as we aim to see the totality of our being, and the basic goodness that lies within us all...”)

(“Our dear neighbor is in her last days, surrounded by the love of her faithful family and friends. We hold space for her as she is making her way out of this world, leaving seeds of love, generosity, open-heartedness and goodness in those lives she created and touched. This is sacred time, indeed... please keep this lovely woman and family in your thoughts and prayers, in whatever way is most meaningful to you. Thank you...”)

Wonder Round (Sept. 2-8, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

Seems that these weeks have not lacked fullness as of late, and this one proved no different.  I have been challenged to stay grounded during these past many days, grateful, as always, for the replenishment of nature, the love of friends and family, and for chances to begin anew.  Wishing goodness to all of you during the week ahead...

("Seems that this process of metamorphosis is ripe with lessons for me. It was an intense experience yesterday to watch the caterpillar shed its skin to reveal this pupa, which writhed around in circles before coming to a complete stop. And it has remained still, since, and will do so for 9-16 days before the monarch butterfly that is forming inside, emerges. How little time we give ourselves for stillness, at least speaking for myself... This chrysalis, hanging like a jewel from a precarious thin edge, is doing its inner work, oblivious to the sounds (as far as I know) of our busy household. I wonder about the process inside, marvel at the energy it must take, and am grateful for the reminder to not only claim time to slow down and go inward but to let the magic of growth and change happen.")

 

("As we begin our homeschooling lessons today, I am aware that we are entering a state of change as our boys progress with their growth and learning, entering into more independent studies. As we anticipate this bringing more self-sufficiency and a sense of empowerment for them, I am hoping to find more balance in my time, opening up freedom and space to work on cultivating my art career. Thank goodness we can continue learning all of our lives, long past the days of schooling. It is nice to sink into the excitement of change, and breathe into the inevitable anxiety that comes with new territory...")

 

("This morning I began with the best of intentions, earlier than normal to rise, hoping to get much done before we left for lessons (foreshadowing— expectations can get us disappointed fast!). As things do not always go as planned, I painted and painted and painted, trying to get to a circle that I felt happy enough with, and which felt complete. As that did not happen as I continued to add layer upon layer, my irritation grew, thinking of all the things I was needing to get done that were not related to this 6-inch circle, which no one was forcing me to do. And then I remembered that breathing was important, haha, as was relaxing into what was there in front of me. It was only when I quit fighting what was not coming together that I reached for the bright green, figuring it could not hurt. And much to my relief, it brought some life to the arena, and balance, as well. I took a quick break to walk the dog, who was feeling forgotten as I sat on my piano stool for much too long, and I smiled as the green of the hills and the scent of freshly mown grass surrounded us. The dog was delighted, leaping over the stands of tall Queen Anne’s Lace, happy to be in the moment and to be free. I thanked her for getting me outside and grounded again. Thank goodness for green...")

 

("Last evening I was talking at length with a trusted soul about self-care, and how easy it is to let it fade during times that pull away from center. When I used to work alongside people as a social worker, always there was effort put into defining the things that gave respite, comfort, nurturance, energy. As basic as these things may sound— a cup of tea in a favorite mug, clothes made from fabrics that soothe the skin, music that brings calm or energy or outlet, movement that allows tight body release, food that fuels as well as comforts, blankets that offer metaphorical shelter, five minutes or an hour to breathe in nature— all these things made a difference in feeling some sense of control over the person’s life and ability to navigate whatever it was they were facing on their path. It makes me happy that these bits of efficacy are free and available to us all, bringing sustenance and bits of healing in unique ways with minimal effort. I think we are all more prone to offer these things to others rather than to ourselves, and am reminded that both feed us in important ways... (Today’s circle was started with my left hand, cobalt blue gesture, hoping to avoid yesterday’s struggle :))

 

("This morning I awoke with a heavy heart, having received word last night that a priest from my past and close to my heart was suspended after an allegation of sexual misconduct from decades ago. For each survivor that finds the courage to step forward and speak, I know there are countless others who have not. And I know that the inner devastation that comes from the betrayal and violation of sexual abuse lasts a lifetime, even though the scars may not show on the surface. Today’s circle is not one of light, as these are dark and pervasive elements. As I grieve for the vast and overwhelming number of survivors, I am heartened that people are continuing to break the silence, giving hope for healing and change, no matter how many years have passed. All involved need healing, as wounded souls wound others. May we all find ways to bring light and hope for the survivors, and change for our broken systems and fractured world.")

 

("As the paint took form on paper, I connected to the soothing that comes from creating what I want to see and feel, rather than what is in front of me. Today will be spent mostly indoors, yet I know that it is the grounding into the earth and sky that I am craving. When the title came, I appreciated its double meaning... that we can all stand still and ground, and that we can stand, still...")

 

("Watching the chrysalis day by day, monitoring for change and hoping they emerge as healthy butterflies, I am mindful of how like them we are... growing, protecting, resting, doing the hard work of transforming every day. May we all find our wings as we become more evolved beings...")

 

"Speak" /  by Hayden Michelle

"Speak", (13 x 16 x 9 inches), (wall hanging)

  Speaking up is something that has taken me years to do, and is in fact, still difficult.  It is a right that everyone is entitled to-- giving voice to what is inside us, bringing it outward to be heard, seen, acknowledged...  This is not only a right but a profound privilege, and not something to be taken for granted.  

Finding my own has taken decades of hard work and a deep but trembling trust that it is safe to share what is inside myself.  From my earliest recollections, art was a potent tool for expression -- playing in an ice cream puddle on my high chair tray, drawing in the dirt, making bowls with mud, and as the years passed, experiencing the joy of dislodging the tight tin lid that released the smell of a multitude of waxy cylindrical sticks that would bring life to the tablet of paper that lay blank before me.

I knew after finishing the Tear Bottle sculpture, that I would return to make a piece that exemplified this particular aspect of healing, voicing what lies deep within.  The bovine jaw was found on the hillsides surrounding our home, and I knew it would hold powerful energy for some being who would find life in it once again...

The swallowtail butterfly is a beautiful creature, rife with personal symbolism.  I enjoyed enriching the blues that were present on the wings, bringing vibrance that matched the energy I experience inside myself.  Blue is a color reflecting purity and open sky, as well as cleansing and soothing water.

There seems to be a sense of dignity the butterfly is feeling as she pauses,  preparing to take flight from the jaw of a cow long gone.  My hope is that you may find strength, comfort, and healing as you gather courage and give yourself permission as you speak your truth.   

(Coincidentally, I wrote this post several days ago, not knowing that today's circle (below) and words would relay this very issue...).

Peace to all...

Wonder Round (August 26- September 1, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

This week brought a flurry of activity both in our house and as we left to camp for a few days.  It was an interesting contrast between sinking into the deepest concentration I could muster as I completed another application (which recognizes artists who are in the midst of parenting), and transitioning to experience that revolved around only the most basic of needs, such as setting up (and seeking) shelter, preparing food, gathering and communicating with families, and exploring the natural environment.  It ended with a witness of the miraculous process of one of our monarch caterpillars releasing into its chrysalis form.  I am filled with gratitude as we head into this next week, officially beginning our academic school year, and launching into a very full autumn with my art.  Best to all of you as you enter into this month of September...

("Being a right-handed person, I have wondered for a while about how it might be to let my left hand begin the painting. Silly as it may be, I felt enough doubt that I did not try it for months— until today. I put the brush awkwardly in my nondominant hand, swirled it around in the black, and put it to the paper. And the circle did not implode or fall apart. It just began differently. It was curious to see my right hand come in and fill in the spaces between the dark marks, and more familiar shapes begin to fill the empty space. It made me wonder about how things might evolve if we were all to practice with less knowing and more trusting, not tied to the outcome or reassurance of having traversed that territory before. We could use a little less dominance in this world we inhabit :)...")

 

(As this week unfolds, our family will welcome in the school year with a camping trip with our beloved Red Oaks Forest School. I am grateful for this grounding in nature and kindred community that will help calm the anxious anticipation of balancing homeschooling, art growth, family needs, friends, and self care. I am thankful for this daily painting time, which brings reflection to my hurried mind, slowing it down to be in the moment, leaving me with a tidbit to carry along mindfully during the day. What brings extra grounding to you during times of intense energy expenditure?")

 

("Wishing you lightness from that which weighs you down, the comfort of basking in dappled sunlight, and the reminder that at our center, there is a deep well of healing light. Shine today, even if only in that acknowledgement within yourself.")

 

("It occurred to me that anger is not something I often share outwardly in these circles, yet is certainly part of the human experience. And this one is not about anything atrocious, at all... just was the outlet for pent-up frustration of applying for another grant for hours and hours yesterday (17 straight, to be exact), mostly due to glitches in the system that kept deleting my application, or the WiFi that is not quite amazing in the sticks where we live, dropping and making me start again (and again and again and again). I took deep breaths and had pretty good perspective at the beginning of the day, but as it wore on, my oldest reminded me in no uncertain terms that I was not the most fun human being to be around! And I desperately wanted to just stop and forget the effort and time needed to complete it, but knew that would then be throwing away all the writing and day’s worth of effort already painstakingly getting me to that point. Onward...

So, I finished at 1:15a, reflecting on why in the world I keep putting the energy into applying for these things that have remote chances of success, and realized being awarded a grant or submission to a show is secondary (although lovely) to the necessary hard work of building self-confidence and identity as I am putting my work out there for review. For me, it is this vulnerability of exposure that is the hardest part of being an artist, yet I know it is the only way to keep moving forward. All that to say, letting myself feel my anger through the paint, even getting it outside the lines with the very first mark, allowed it to take up less space in me and move on through. And I awakened this morning (4 hrs later), in high gear to pack so that we can hit the road to camp with buddies. Certainly, relief awaits!")

 

("This morning I painted not in solitude and quiet, but in the midst of a growing circle of awakening children and parents, the buzz of frenetic activity against the background of peaceful breeze, singing birds, and chirping late summer insects. I had to laugh as my painting got more chaotic as I went, absorbing the many conversations (happening all at once, haha) that evolved around me. So grateful to be here and with this gang... may we all find connections that are full of life. (And now on to make breakfast for my neglected and patient children!)")

 

("Today’s circle was actually painted 2 nights ago, in quick succession after the red-filled one that was an expression of release of anger and overwhelm. It was interesting to see that although still in the midst of the unfinished grant application, that by the mere act of painting, relief and calm were moving back into the space of the sphere. I am grateful for the perspective that pause (and paint) can bring to our experiences in life, and for the peace and fun that camping for this short time away has brought. Hopefully, I will be able to quickly recall this short bit of a lesson as we head into more structured and demanding days. Peace to all of you... (and now off to a lazy cup of coffee with the group before we break down...oh, the simple gifts we can allow ourselves ;))")

 

("An hour after unloading the van last night and dumping piles of equipment in various areas of the house, I delicately lay the screen house that houses several monarch caterpillars (who camped with us in order to be attended), on the dining room table. We already had the good fortune to witness one finishing up the final moments of her chrysalis right as our tent was set up and before the storms came, the next morning, with a second near the end of the process, and a third as we left the nature center on the way home. We were thrilled to gather around and see the final movements as the jade green being emerged... I had no idea that this process took a matter of minutes, and was very much hoping to witness this all from the beginning. 


So I sat and got my iPad at the ready, thinking that since this latest caterpillar had made the characteristic “J” while hanging, that any minute, the miracle would happen before my eyes. Well, I sat for 2 hours, watching for the tiny pulsations to further, and of course, was recalling labor, and the organic unfolding of that process, and went to sleep. I checked them at midnight— still still... and when the dog awakened me early to go outside, although not thrilled with being awakened, was excited to see that the caterpillar was still resting. 


So I set up camp again, noticing that her antennae were droopy and her “J” curve had released, just as I had read as a sign of getting close. And sure enough, the caterpillar began the hard work of releasing her outer skin, and revealing the luminous green pulsing pupa that lay underneath, ready to be revealed. I could hardly breathe as I watched, mesmerized by this most complex, yet natural, process. It felt otherworldly, yet struck me that this process happens over and over again, for the continuance of all living things. Although common, it is profound, and makes me want to tune in not only to the process with monarchs, but to be mindful of the proliferation of life all around. What an energizing and privileged way to start the day..."))

Wonder Round (August 19-25, 2018) /  by Hayden Michelle

Today I am posting this on the fly, so will allow the images and words below to do the talking...  Wishing you all a wondrous week ahead!

("I awakened filled to the brim with gratitude this morning, deeply contented as I lie awake reflecting on these couple of days away. It is a privilege to take time apart from responsibility, returning home enriched by this time of respite, connection, nurturance, and laughter. I am tucking this bit of awareness away— that when rest can follow hard work, it enlivens me to better continue in the flow...")

 

("After spending the weekend with a friend I have known deeply since age 16, I was thinking of the many layers that develop from experiences in our lives as we are fortunate enough to continue growing— recognizing that underneath those rings, the core of who we are remains vibrant and alive in the very center of our beings. How precious it is when we can share that with one another, no matter how long we have known each other, and honor the essence of one another...")

 

("I stepped out on the stoop this morning, drinking in the coolness of the heavy and expectant moist air. Before I could take a third breath, rain turned from a sprinkle to a downpour, pummeling the trees and hills across the road and down the hollow with sounds I love, before making its way to where I was standing. It felt good to be dry while being surrounded by this sudden deluge. I had just been noticing the barely visible clouds that were churning by, hardly discernible, one from the other, in their thick gray mass. The thought went through my mind that underneath all that gray and wall of rain, lay blue sky. Today, I am happy for the rain, as I will be inside tending to my house, but it is comforting to know that the blue remains beneath.")

 

("I did my morning exercise on top of our storm shelter this morning, overlooking the ridge and under the swaying branches of a water maple tree... as I lie down and looked around me, I noticed these minuscule green pod-like seeds, which I have never noticed in the eleven years we have lived here. I am quite sure they have been there all along, doing their thing in the life cycle of the tree, but I had not slowed down or gotten near enough to the ground on which they lay to see them. As I painted a small pile of them, each not more than 2-3 mm in diameter, I realized we are much like these beings— small in the grand scheme of things, yet integral to the life of the tree, forest, earth, universe... We all matter!")

 

("This morning’s circle revolves around wanting to quit and start anew. I think this one ties a few others in terms of disliking the painting intensely throughout most of the process, and not knowing how to bring it to completion, let alone redeem it. I realized I was the only one who would know if I started over, but stayed with it because I knew I would feel better. As I muttered through my discontented strokes and my fidgeting agitated body on the chair, I applied layer after layer, accentuating elements that I was trying to avoid and cover up, knowing there was meaning in each mark, at least in my unconscious. We all struggle with these feelings in things that matter much more than a daily mindfulness exercise, and find the energy to persevere. Wishing you all the harnessing of intention within yourself to keep at the things that bring struggle...")

 

("How do those things that live on the outer edge of our imagination and daily vision get brought into the circle of sight? It is a mystery, and reassuring that always, an abundance remains to be seen...")

 

("Warm and cool swing back and forth not only in temperature as the days transition to fall, but in the multitude of ways we experience highs and lows, joy and pain, chaos and peace, connection and disconnection in our lives. I am grateful there are moments of balance and space between, for the richness they bring, and for the strong and quiet thread that stitches these disparate parts into wholeness.")